Meet the stars of our new Power of Relationships video
Featuring foster carers Louise and Neil Sanders, their daughter Emily ( age22), and their fostered children Sheryl (age 17), Michelle (age 15), and David (age 12), the family share their heartfelt experiences of fostering and the connections they have made on their way. The video also features fostering social worker Mick, who provides insights into the support system that provides foster families with a wider support network.
Speaking about taking part in the film foster carer and gas engineer Neil said: "It was great to be able to speak about fostering and to reflect on the relationships we've built over the years for us as parents and for the children in the video. It's big when you start to break it all down, but to us it's also just everyday life. The children are part of our family - we don't think of ourselves as having three birth children and three fostered children, we simply have six children. That's just the way it is - they are our family.
"We know there are a lot of people who have considered fostering but talk themselves out of it because of perceived barriers, that, may not actually exist. We hope that by sharing our story in this campaign we can make a differene. If we can encourage more people to find out more about fostering then we can only be doing a good thing."
Motivation to foster
The family has been fostering for 13 years, with siblings Sheryl, Michelle and David being part of their family for eight years. The couple originally fostered with an Independent Fostering Agency (IFA) before deciding local authority fostering suited them better and then transferring from fostering agency to North East local authority.
"Our house felt a bit empty when two of our three kids moved out, so after hearing a radio ad on the way to work I just sent in an enquiry", Neil said.
"We've always enjoyed fostering but we found we weren't getting the opportunity to help enough children with the IFA as they don't look after children directly, and there wasn't much of a fostering community either. As soon as we decided to foster with our local authority, we knew it was the right decision, and we've never looked back. We've fostered all ages - from babies to 17-year-olds. We've cared for children with autism, children with special needs and brothers and sisters and every experience has been excellent."
Anyone can foster
Foster carers are often perceived as being superhuman and whilst they do all have a passion and commitment to care for children, they also come from all walks of life, family set ups and backgrounds.
"We don't see ourselves as super parents - we're just like everyone else, sometimes parenting is challenging, and we get things a little wrong, but that's normal life. By the time you have six children you also learn a few tricks along the way. There are things you have to consider with fostered children that you don't with birth children, such as getting permission to go on holiday, which can be frustrating as a family when you're keen to bag a deal, but you also understand why the rules exist." Louise.
The North East fostering community
Staring family and their social worker Mick
The couple also spoke about being part of the fostering community and building relationships with their social worker and the significant benefits they see in these relationships: "We adore fostering but it can be a little isolating at first, some people don't understand what you can and can't talk about, and it can make it difficult at times, but over the years we've formed really close friendships through fostering. In the fostering community if you're stuck for an answer, you can guarantee someone has had a similar experience and is happy to talk things through and that's invaluable." Louise adds.
The family also say they get great support from their current social worker who has been with them for eight years. They still have relationships with their previous workers and those who have supported the children.
Maintaining family connection
Family time with birth family can also be part of the care arrangements with foster carers. For Louise and Neil, they speak daily to the siblings' grandma who lives in London as well as family members in Zambia who regularly text and phone the family.
"When the kids joined our family, we also adopted a grandma. She's brilliant, I speak to her almost every day and the kids are always texting or calling her, and we regularly visit her in London too. We send gifts for occasions like Mother's Day and Easter, and she buys the kids traditional Zambian clothing when she visits family there too. We love being able to keep that connection for the children and they benefit hugely from having that link to their heritage too." Neil.
Meet Emily
The couple's three birth children Hayley, Jamie and Emily have also formed close relationships with the siblings - with 22-year-old Emily also taking part in the film.
"My parents have fostered since I was 8 years old, and I absolutely love it. I now work in residential care because fostering has given me such a different perspective on life, and I love having the opportunity to be able to help more young people through my work. Sheryl, Michelle and David are just my sisters and brothers - like my other siblings we laugh together, we eat out together, we watch movies, we fight, and we take the mick out of each other. I've grown up with them and they've grown up with me - and I'm so grateful for that." Emily.
Meet Sheryl
Sheryl is the eldest of the siblings, and at 17 is studying A-levels at college. She has a part time job and is a keen rugby player having just started playing for the women's team. Sheryl is described by her family as funny, sociable, kind, clever and hardworking, with Neil and Louise talking about how proud they are of her educational achievements.
"We can't believe how far Sheryl has come, when she first moved in, she had had no schooling at all and now she is doing A-levels and expected to get A* results. We couldn't be prouder." Louise.
Meet Michelle
As the middle sister, Michelle is described as calm, caring, the first to help around the house, the one who would do anything for anyone, and having a brilliant sense of humour. She's an avid book reader as well as rugby player and is currently studying for her GCSEs. Speaking about Michelle, the couple got emotional when they think about how far she's come.
"To see Michelle now, I know we're doing the right thing by fostering. She has absolutely blossomed in the last few years. When she first came home, she was incredibly quiet, often not speaking for days, but now her confidence has grown so much and although naturally shy she's doing well at school and has a lovely group of friends. Michelle is incredibly kind and is always looking out for everyone else. She's particularly close to our daughter Emily and even though Emily has now moved out she's always over and we often find them having snuck off to chat in a corner." Louise.
Meet David
David is the youngest of the three siblings and is a typical funny and cheeky 12-year-old boy. He has a passion for motorbikes and loves trying his hand at lots of different sports. He's a keen rugby player and this has led to his two sisters taking up the sport. David is a bit of a joker and loves being out and about with Neil and Louise's eldest son, Jamie.
"Jamie lives just around the corner from us and he and David are really close, they love learning about how things work, and they are always out and about on days out togetgher. He's a lovley young man and we're incredibly proud oc how much he's grown." Neil.
Family dynamic
Summing up his relationship with the children, Neil said: "We're just a normal family - they all know that they come to me for money, clothes and nice things, and they go to Louise with their problems, for help with day-to-day tasks, homework, and to get them to friends' houses, dancing and rugby clubs! They know exactly how to work us, just like our other three children!
"Any challenges we face are only ever the same as every other family - just normal kid things where they don't like school, or they have fallen out with a friend. Life isn't always easy for any family, but you just deal with those things as they come up and you know there is support there if you need it. All that the children want is a normal life and we just want to give that to them."
Find out more
If you are curious about fostering, find out more by calling Foster with North East on 0800 917 777 or enquire online now, you make no commitment by getting in touch and we love hearing your questions, big and small.
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