A day in the life of foster carers Paula and Marie
Paula and Marie have been fostering with Together for Children in Sunderland for nearly eight years.
They care for three teenagers, and with busy routines, different personalities and plenty of moving parts, no two days are ever the same. We sat down with Paula to hear what a typical day looks like and to get a glimpse into family life in their home.
My day starts early - usually around 5:30am. With three teenagers to get out of the door, mornings are all about getting ahead. Packed lunches are made, breakfast is prepared, and there's always a gentle reminder or two about forgotten PE kits, bags or uniforms.
One of the young people loves to be up and out early, often leaving the house by just after 7am to meet friends before school. Another prefers a bit more time and support, especially getting ready for college, so we adapt our morning to meet everyone's needs.
Two of the three head off independently, while the third finds it a bit harder due to anxiety, so we drop her at the bus station. It might sound like a small thing, but it's a massive step. When she first came to us, she needed us to take her all the way to school, so to see her now getting the bus herself is something we're really proud of. It's been about taking things slowly - offering reassurance, helping her feel organised, and building her confidence one step at a time.
By mid-morning, after dropping everyone off and walking the dog the house finally becomes quiet.
Catching up and planning ahead
Late morning is a chance to reset. Bedrooms are tidied, washing is put on, and the house is prepared for when everyone comes back in later. With three teenagers, there's always laundry to do and jobs to keep on top of.
There's also the less visible side of fostering - keeping on top of paperwork, logging important information, and planning ahead for appointments, social worker visits, or family time.
Some days include quick trips out for shopping or errands, making sure there's enough food in for a household. As you can imagine with three teenagers there's a lot of grocery shopping in our house!
We build in small moments for ourselves one day a week, too. That might be a walk along the seafront or grabbing lunch together - a chance to pause before everything starts up again.
Afternoons - the house comes alive
By mid-afternoon, the house starts to fill up again.
The first arrival is usually straight in for a drink and a snack after college, followed closely by the others drifting in - sometimes after spending time with friends or doing extracurricular activities.
Afternoons are a mix of catching up on the day, supporting where needed, and getting tea started. There's no one-size-fits-all routine - each young person has their own interests and personality. One might be out and about, another relaxing with games, and of course doing their homework too - being a bit older they don't need much prompting, as they've grown in confidence and take more responsibility for it themselves.
Some evenings one of the young people spends time with their family too - doing that more independently now they're older, which is something we've really encouraged and are proud to see.
Moments like that show how far they've come, and for us it always comes back to creating a calm, supportive home where each young person feels comfortable being themselves.
Evenings family times and routines
Evenings revolve around food and routine. Tea is cooked, favourites vary - anything from a big Sunday dinner to homemade meals like chilli or pulled pork, or pepperoni pizza. Everyone finds time to come together, even if it's just briefly before heading off to their own spaces again.
Afterwards, it's on to the next part of the evening - washing up, getting the dogs fed, and reminding teenagers about showers, homework or getting ready for the next day.
There's often a late-night run too, collecting one of the young people after they've been out with friends - they'll get the bus most of the way, but we always do the last bit so they're not walking back alone. It's just part of helping them grow in independence while knowing we're still there and keeping them safe.
Eventually, things settle. The teenagers head off to their rooms, and we finally get a chance to sit down, watch a bit of TV, and take a breath before it all begins again.
Weekends and everything in between
Weekends bring a different pace, but they're no less busy. We spend time together as a household, visits with family, football (we have season tickets to Sunderland FC), shopping, or trips out. Some weekends also involve family time, with one of the young people now spending regular time with their birth family, including overnight stays, which has been really positive to see and something we've supported step by step. Our weekends range from simple days out to bigger adventures.
We always try to make space for fun moments together - whether that's piling into the car with music on, everyone singing and plenty of banter, or loading up the van and heading out to the doggy park. We bought the van last year and often just pop the dogs in the back and head off, which they all love.
Some of the foster carer tasks we do regularly are:
Keeping on top of washing, tidying and general housework (there's always laundry with three teenagers!)
Preparing meals and making sure everyone's fed and settled.
Supporting routines like school, college and getting out the door each day.
Keeping track of appointments, family time and everything in the calendar.
Completing monthly reports and any important paperwork.
Meetings with our social worker or the young people's PA
Something we've noticed along the way As they've grown, the young people have become much more independent - whether that's getting themselves ready, managing homework, or heading out with friends. It's something we're really proud of.
Something we find tough sometimes It can be tiring - the days are long, and there's always something to think about or organise. But it's never something we don't want to do.
What's coming up There's always something in the diary - appointments, meetings, school/college plans, or family time. It's a case of keeping everything organised and being ready to adapt when things change.
Since becoming foster carers... Life is definitely busier than we ever imagined, but it's also more rewarding. No two days look the same, and there's a lot to juggle - but seeing the young people grow in confidence and independence makes it all worthwhile.
Our number one tip Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Ask questions, use the support around you, and just give young people the time and space to settle in and be themselves.
You can explore the benefits of fostering and types of fostering on our website to get a better feel for how fostering might work for you. To register your interest with no commitment go to our enquiry form or call 0800 917 7771. Our hub advisers are ready and waiting to answer any questions you might have, big or small and can also arrange for you to speak to a foster carer buddy.
