A day in the life of foster carer Debbie

Alongside fostering, Debbie works part-time over 4 days. At home, there's never a dull moment, with their dog Peppa, George, and a tank of around twenty fish adding to the mix. Their two grown-up daughters live nearby and are very much a supportive part of family life. From early mornings to the evening wind-down, Debbie and Mark's days are structured, busy and full of the everyday moments that have kept them fostering for over a decade.                                                          

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Early morning calm 

My day starts at 6:00am, giving me a precious hour or so of quiet before everything begins. It's my time to have a coffee, gather my thoughts, and prepare for the day ahead. 

By 6:45am, the house comes to life. Breakfast is usually cereal or porridge, with plenty of chatter and a few cuddles with our dogs, Peppa and George.   

The older children all have small chores - tidying rooms, collecting laundry or pairing socks. These little responsibilities help build independence and routine (and they earn some pocket money too!). 

The morning rush

Getting five children ready for three different schools is definitely a team effort. 

• I take the older boys 
• One child is collected for school
• Mark takes the twins 

It sounds hectic, but we've built a routine that works really well for us. 

Daytime routine 

Once the children are at school, I head to work until around 2:00pm. After a quick coffee at home, it's straight back out for school pick-ups. Meanwhile, Mark keeps things running at home - washing, tidying and preparing for the evening.

Afternoons and evenings

Evenings are all about family time. We always sit together at the table for tea. It's one of the most important parts of our day. We talk about school, share stories. I always ask questions like: 

• What made you laugh today?
• Did anything upset you today?

After tea, it's time for activities - football, jujitsu or swimming - before winding down.

Bedtime is structured

• The twins go to bed around 7pm
• Older children follow after supper about 8.45pm 

For the younger ones, we use calming tools like relaxation apps with stories and meditation to help them settle, this has worked wonders for us. Once everyone's asleep, it's finally my time to relax and that usually involves watching some reality TV or a good series on Netflix.  

Some of the foster carer tasks I did today:

• Coordinated a multi-school morning routine 
• Supported emotional check-ins at the dinner table 
• Encouraged positive behaviour through rewards and structure
• Managed household routines and responsibilities
• Supported after-school activities and bedtime routines 
• Completed life story work  

The best part of my day
Sitting together at the dinner table and hearing about the children's day, seeing them open up, talk to one another, tell silly jokes, share advice and most importantly listen. Watching their confidence grow is priceless. We enjoyed a homemade chicken pie with mash potatoes and vegetables - a firm favourite in our house. It's also incredibly rewarding seeing how far they've come, whether that's emotionally, socially or academically. 

Something I found tough today
Managing difficult behaviour can be challenging, especially when more than one child is having a tough day. It can be hard to enforce consequences when you know a child is upset, but consistency is so important to help them feel safe and secure. 

My top tips for adjusting to life as a foster carer:

• Focus on the positives - even the small ones. 
• I use a technique called "reverse parenting", where I praise every step in the right direction. Children need to feel recognised for trying, not just for getting things perfect. 
• Routine, consistency and reassurance are key. 
• ​​​​​​​Buy a big dining table - it's the heart of our home.  

                                                      Read a life in the day of Ann, a single parent foster carer to siblings