A day in the life of foster carer and Mockingbird hub carer, Parveen

Single parent foster carer Parveen cares for a little boy under a short-term fostering arrangement. However, her role as a Mockingbird Hub Home Carer means her home is a hub of activity and at the heart of a group of carers called a constellation. The group provides peer support and socialising for the fostering families and children within the constellation. Parveen takes the lead in planning activities, providing practical support and advice to the other carers in the group and hosts regular sleepovers for children within the constellation.

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My morning as a foster carer

I got up this morning at 6:45am. I made myself a cup of tea to start the day. It was chilly this morning, so I switched the heating on so it was nice and cosy and warm for when the little boy I look after woke up.

At 7:00am, he got up independently, got washed and dressed, and came downstairs for breakfast. On school days, he likes to have a bowl of cereal. At weekends, we enjoy having a full English breakfast and taking a bit more time over breakfast to chat.

While he was eating, I reminded him about the things he needed to take to school today and after-school plans. We also chatted about what we will have for tea later in the evening. We have a well-established routine and it works really well for us.

At 7:30am, the doorbell rings and he leaves for school. I then tidy up and begin my day. The first thing I do is open my laptop to check emails and messages from other carers and the fostering service. Once I have replied to these, I update daily recordings - my fostering admin.

As a Hub Home Carer within Mockingbird, I usually have meetings or provide support to other carers. Today, I had a meeting mid morning to support another carer with a Child in Our Care (CIOC) review, it lasted about an hour and a half.

My afternoon looked like this...

At around 11:30am, once the meeting had ended, I made my way to the gym. This is a new hobby that I have taken up as it gives me a bit of me time and allows me to focus on my own health and wellbeing. It's still new, but I'm sticking with it so far.

After the gym, I met a friend for a quick chat and some lunch before heading to the shops to pick up a few bits and pieces. I couldn't forget the chocolate spread because my foster child loves this as his night time snack.

I got home at around 3:30pm, which gave me just enough time to make a cup of tea, check my emails and messages, and make some personal calls before he arrives home.

He comes home after family time, which he has three times a week. The first thing he does is head upstairs for a bath. He enjoys relaxing in the bath after a long day as it helps him unwind. As usual, he down for tea at about 6pm.

During tea, we sit down together in the kitchen and chat about school and his day. It's a really important part of our day for both of us. It gives me the opportunity to check in with him and gives him time to chat about any worries or concerns.

My evening looked like this...

After tea, if we have a Mockingbird social event coming up at the weekend, my foster child likes to help me prepare for the activities. He does not get homework, so I try to encourage other creative activities. Afterwards, he usually has his favourite snack of chocolate toast with a glass of milk. Then we might watch a film together, he sometimes plays on the Xbox. He loves to watch funny vidoes on YouTube while I sit next to him with my laptop and that's what we did today. We chat about things he has seen that made him laugh. 

It is a lovely way to bond over the little things he enjoys and that make him who he is. I think it is important to be present in the same room, even if we are not actively doing something together, as it gives him a sense of security and safety.

The evening wind down routine

8.30pm is bedtime. He heads upstairs without any fuss at all as he's really settled in his routine. He does not like to be tucked in and prefers to close the blinds himself. However, I always pop my head around the door to say goodnight.

I ended my day by...

I loaded the laundry into the washing machine and switched it on then rang my sister for a chat. If there's any ironing to do, I usually get that sorted before heading upstairs to bed myself.

Some of the foster carer tasks I did today are:

• Washing, shopping, cooking, tidying up 
• Supporting other foster carers in my role as a Mockingbird Hub Home Carer
• Writing some notes for my supervising social worker about how family time is going

Some things my foster child(ren) and I did today was:

• Watched funny YouTube videos together
• Ate together and chatted about our day

Something my foster children said to me today was:

• "I can't wait until the weekend so I can have a lie-in!" 

The best part of my day was...
Hearing him laugh while watching funny videos and then asking me to watch what had made him laugh.

Something I found tough today was: 

• I made sure all my jobs and admin tasks were completed and updated before my foster child got home so that I could fully focus on him.

Since becoming a foster carer, the biggest way my days have changed is:

My days are very busy, and my role as a Hub Home Carer certainly keeps me on my toes. I love supporting other carers, but I have to keep my schedule and diary organised and up to date.

Sometimes, you can forget to take time for yourself, which is something I am trying to improve. That is one of the reasons I joined the gym - to make sure I have a little bit of me time.

I mostly find that as a foster carer

There is a lot of variety. Even though we have our routines, every day is different.

My number one tip as a foster carer is:

Every day is different, so it is important to take each day as it comes. Being organised and establishing routines early on can make a huge difference.

                                                      Read a life in the day of single parent foster carer Ann